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Tips For Partying Safe
Dr. Joni Frater & Esther Lastique • Aug 20, 2019
Staying Safe While Having a Good Time!
Whether you're playing on a college campus, still in high school, or going to a club, partying with friends can be a great way to blow off some steam & relieve stress. That said, over indulgence can also make you a target and put you in dangerous situations. Here are some great tips to keep you safe while having a good time!
- Always travel with friends – mixed gender groups are great – especially if you’re LGBTQ or a combination of orientations. Make sure your head count going in & going home is consistent. If you arrive with 6 people, you leave with the same 6 people!
- Always choose a Designated Driver / Dragger – Semper Fi - Never leave a friend behind. This person STAYS SOBER TONIGHT to keep you all safe. Rotate who is the DD – everyone should get a chance to have fun. (Sober friends are great wingmen!) Everyone gives their consent to your DD to drag your sorry drunken ass home & out of harm’s way – no debate, no staying behind to party or hook up!
- When you arrive at the party, scope out the room & find someone you know – preferably someone most people would not want to challenge – to step in if you have a problem. Always stay safe when interceding in a situation that may escalate – like seeing a couple of guys escorting a drunk person upstairs or out of a club that may be a target. Make yourself aware of the surroundings – where are the exits and designate an exit strategy with a time & location for your group.
- Always watch your drinks – watch them being made if possible, ask the bartender to make your drink above the bar if you can’t see them doing it – if you go to a house or dorm party & the beer is in a keg or unopened bottles are available stick with that! (If the drinks are pre-made in a huge container like a lined trash can, you should be okay but it’s always best to defer to a bottle. Watch someone pour it into a clean cup with nothing else in it!)
- If you have to leave your drink to hit the dance floor or the bathroom, put your designated dragger / travel buddy in charge of it to make sure no one tampers with it. Go to the bathroom with a buddy too = we have heard horror stories of slipping something in someone’s drink and following them to the bathroom to scoop them up & take them off site without their friends noticing.
- FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS HOOK UP UNDER THE INFLUENCE! Understand that in many states, being under the influence of drugs and /or alcohol NEGATES CONSENT – MEANING YOU DO NOT HAVE THE LEGAL CAPACITY TO CONSENT TO SEX !! THAT MEANS IT’S SEXUAL ASSAULT!!
- If you are on antibiotics, please don’t drink – it will make the anti biotics less effective. And if you are on anti biotics & BIRTH CONTROL – THE ANTI BIOTICS CAN MAKE YOUR BIRTH CONTROL INEFFECTIVE !!! YOU MUST USE CONDOMS!
- Don’t take any drugs you cannot identify! A lot of them can be cut with other products that can wreak havoc on your body!
- BONUS TIP – DEVELOP A RESCUE ME SIGNAL OR A SAFE WORD! IF YOU’RE FEELING TRAPED OR UNCOMFORTABLE, USE THE SYMBOL, LIKE PLAYING WITH A NECKLACE, SO A MEMBER OF YOUR GROUP WILL COME RUNNING! YOU CAN THEN USE YOUR SAFE WORD – “DID YOU FIND OUT IF THEY HAVE PINEAPPLE?” AND NO ONE OUTSIDE YOUR GROUP WILL REALIZE YOU’VE SENT OUT A SIGNAL TO BE RESCUED! OUT ALONE AND NEED HELP? ASK THE BARTENDER FOR AN ANGEL SHOT! This should send a manager to come speak with you privately to make sure you are all right. If you ask for an Angel Shot on the Rocks, the bartender will discreetly call you an Uber or cab to get you out of there!
So no matter how you choose to have a good time, remember to party with friends, keep each other safe and have each other's back! And stay tuned here for more tips on staying sexy, safe & healthy!
1. Scope out your local resources – if you’re attending college, you should know that many schools provide free condoms, lube, female condoms, dental dams, flavored condoms for oral sex etc. You will never know unless you ask! Some schools even provide free or reduced cost STI testing, pregnancy testing & counseling on birth control options and they can write you a prescription. Visit these departments to find out what they can do for you! Student Health Services, Counseling, Student Life, Residence Life, Disability Services, Women & Gender Resources, LGBTQ Resources; Title IX. And if your school does not provide the stuff you need, use your voice! You’re paying good money to be there – and their student services are only as good & as comprehensive as the demand is – so be demanding! Students have power – learn to use it! 2. If you’re not in college or going to a community college or trade school that does not provide free stuff, check out your local Planned Parenthood, Family planning clinics, and State Health Departments for free condoms, lube, female condoms, dental dams, flavored condoms for oral sex etc. Ask about free or reduced costs for STI Testing – there might be special dates or times of the month that are supported by State grant money – and use the services! Planned Parenthood might have just lost access to Title X funds but they are still open & still rocking access to reproductive freedom! (You may just have to pay a little for what you need instead of it being free now that the federal $$ is gone!) 3. For oral sex on a woman or for oral / anal play, you need to use barrier protection – either dental dams – which can be hard to find & expensive or Saran Wrap!! The original non-microwavable kind – it doesn’t have microscopic holes so it’s a perfect barrier! (And around $2 a roll!) 4. If you’re a fluid bonded couple ¬t using condoms, you can always use coconut oil as a lube. YOU CANNOT USE THIS IS YOU ARE USING CONDOMS – THEY WILL BREAK !! Use Good Clean Love – it’s organic, condom friendly ¬t expensive – and available at CVS ! 5. And of course – join Pandia Health to get your birth control delivered monthly – no schlepping to the pharmacy – or forgetting! – and no unnecessary judgement from the pharmacist! Use coupon code SEXED for a discount or a Starbucks gift card! www.PandiaHealth.com Contact us today to find out more about bringing us to your campus ! Stay tuned here and follow us on Insta & FB to keep up with our travels ! Play safe & reach out if you need us!! XOXOXO - Dr. Joni & Esther
It's August 11th - that means many of you are getting packed up to return - or venture off for the first time - to college. While Mom, Dad & your best pals are chiming in with tips about everything from your decor to your kitchen supplies, here are the top 3 things you can do now to make sure your sexual health is a priority once you arrive. 1. School supplies - Take your favorite safer sex materials with you! Be sure to shop for & pack your favorite brands of condoms, lube, dental dams or saran wrap (for oral sex on a female or oral/anal play) - remember not the microwavable version , menstrual products, pain medication for menstrual symptoms, sex toys, birth control – and sign up for www.PandiaHealth.com subscription service so you have one less thing to worry about! 2. Start having REAL conversations with your roommate – before you get back to campus - about sharing your space. Begin setting realistic expectations for intimate time (with or without a partner), study/quiet times, party time, etc. Start setting boundaries for sharing a small living space. This is an evolving conversation that can be renegotiated as students navigate their sexuality and as your connection with your roommate grows into friendship. All relationships require honesty, equality, respect and responsibility- it starts with your roomie! 3. Get to know your campus resources & what they provide: - Student health services, Counseling, Title IX, Residence Life/Housing, Women’s Center, Violence Prevention & Advocacy, LGBTQ/Diversity office, Student Life - What do they give away for free? – condoms, lube, dental dams, etc - What do they offer for a fee or with insurance? Birth control education & prescriptions, STI testing & treatment, Emergency Contraception, rape crisis treatment & advocacy Once you land on campus, be sure to also familiarize yourself with where to go off campus for the stuff school resources don't provide. What products are carried in your local stores? This includes lube, condoms, PREP & PEP and Emergency Contraception. (If you're feeling bold, be sure to ask the pharmacist if they would have a problem selling you sexy things like condoms or Emergency Contraception. In some states, pharmacy workers can refuse to sell you something based on "Religious Objections." If you find this is the case, march over to your campus Health Services and ask them to carry what you might not be able to get on site. You have rights - and you're paying to be there, so be sure your voice is heard!) 4 – BONUS TIP : Are you passionate about Reproductive Freedom & birth control access? Get involved on your campus! Great way to meet like minded people and getting ready for the fight of our lives in 2020! Find out if your school has: SHAC or SHAB – Student Health Advisory Council/Board It’s On Us Women’s Center LGBT Resources or GSA / Pride Group Feminist organizations Peer educators Become a Pandia campus rep! Help bring Sex Ed Boot Camp or another of our programs to campus! And if you have questions along the way, especially when it comes to sexuality, relationships and navigating your way tot he best version of you - reach out to us anytime we can light your way! Wishing you all a safe & healthy Start to the academic year! - XOXO Dr. Joni and Esther
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